Political Promises

I’m in a crummy mood and sometimes I just wish I could talk to someone about some things. But I can’t. That makes it difficult because people tend to ask what is wrong. I’m not very good at hiding my feelings.

I had a friend be really curt with me today and I feel something is wrong, but they won’t tell me what it is. It’s difficult to not take it personally. I can’t imagine that I’ve done anything, but then again with me having ADHD, I am sometimes totally oblivious that I might be stepping on toes. I can sense a general feeling from a person, but it’s hard for me to know if that feeling is directed at me or someone else. And I’m not very good at taking hints when people drop them, because my mind is often somewhere else. I miss subtleties that other people generally catch.

I just flat out feel so awkward in the social realm at times. And just when I think I’m getting better at it, something like this happens and it really undermines any confidence I might have had that I’m being a good friend. I really wish people would tell me when I’m doing or saying something that might seem inconsiderate or wrong when it’s happening instead of playing these games and making me rack my brain for hours trying to figure out what it is I might have said or done. I’m fairly sure that whatever it is wasn’t intentional on my part and is just me being oblivious or not catching body language, tone of voice, etc. And if I DIDN’T do anything wrong, then why treat me as though I have?

I’m supposed to go kayaking in the morning for the first time. Normally I would be excited about it. But instead I’m still racking my brain trying to figure out why my friend was so curt with me today. I really don’t even feel like going. I don’t feel like being around people. But I’ve already committed to it, so I will still go.

I also have some other things bothering me besides a friend being curt with me, but I seemed to be handling all of those for now. I just really got my feelings hurt pretty bad today and the thing is, I don’t think my friend has any earthly idea she hurt my feelings at all. And I’m not even sure if she knew, that it would matter… And that just hurts me even more if that is indeed true.

I doubt I will be able to sleep much (still racking my brain), but I have to try, I suppose. You might end up hearing a tale about some zombie kayaking at JB’s Fish Camp. If so, that will be me, due to lack of sleep.

Originally published at The Cat’s Meow. You can comment here or there.

http://www.vidilife.com/video_play_296787_Barking_Cat.htm