I need a :beer: and probably a :pill:.  I have the migraine from hell right now and I’m sure part of it is because I’m fucking irritated. :cuss:  Hubby managed to piss me off just a wee bit…

So I’m going to rant about it in hopes I feel better afterwards.  I’ll put it behind the cut since it might be a bit long.

There have been a few instances lately where he really has annoyed me with some of the things he’s said.  Before I get into that, I just want to explain what my schedule is like lately so you can understand why I’m irritated.

My first alarm goes off about 6 a.m.  This is so I can take my medication and it has an hour to start working.  I go back to sleep, or at least try to.  Then my other alarm goes off at 7 a.m.  I have to be at work at 8 a.m. and it’s a 20 mile drive there.  I get an hour for lunch although most days I don’t actually go out of the office.  I tend to bring my own lunch and eat it there if I’m going to eat lunch.  Sometimes I have to run errands.  I get out of work at 5 p.m.  This part of my schedule is the same Monday through Friday. 

Then Mondays and Wednesdays I have Spanish class from 7 p.m. until around 8:30 p.m.  I usually go over to the library and do a bit of studying after work since my class is near my place of employment.  I go to class and afterwards I drive the 20 miles home, so I get home around 9 p.m. or so.

Tuesday I have a class at 6 p.m. that’s near my home, so I leave work and drive there and usually get to class around 5:30 if I leave work right at 5, with traffic and all.  The class goes from 6 p.m. until 8:15-8:30 or so.  Then I drive home from there.  Since it’s close by, I actually get home a bit earlier on Tuesdays. 

Thursdays I have class near my work again, starting at 6 p.m. and going until 8:50 p.m.  I drive 20 miles home and usually get there after 9 p.m.  I don’t have class on Friday, just work.  And I’m off on Saturday and Sunday.

Hubby has been staying down south several nights a week.  When I get home after school, I usually have fish and cats to feed, plants to water, laundry or dishes to do, or trash to take out.  I also have to find some time in there to eat and to take a shower.  Then I still need to do some studying.  I had quizzes all this week, for instance, so I had to do a bit more studying because of that. 

If hubby is at home, he goes to bed around 10 or 10:30 p.m.  I don’t.  There’s no way I can get into bed that soon when I don’t even get home until 9 or later.  So during the week, I sleep in the other room because I generally have to stay up later to study.  Many nights I study until about 2 a.m.  Sometimes even longer.  Then I’m up again at 7 a.m. the next day to do it all over again.

As you can tell, I really don’t have a lot of extra time.  I tend to get irritated and annoyed a bit more easily too.  This week was especially stressful because last week I was sick and missed work and some classes.  So I had to play catch up this week as well as study for tests.

The other night hubby was there and he asked me if I could straighten up and put away everything that I had out (mostly books for studying), and fold and put away the clean laundry that was on a chair in the guest bedroom (where I’ve been sleeping).  I said I’d try to, but didn’t make any promises because I had a test the next day.  I ended up studying until about 3 a.m. that night, so I was dead tired when I did go to sleep.  I got up, went to work, then school (did well on the test, by the way) and then home.  I didn’t have time to put away laundry or straighten stuff up.  I was way too tired by the time I was done studying that night.  And I had already done all the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen that night after hubby was already asleep.

So when I get home, he says to me “It was nice how you cleaned up the guest bedroom, put away your snacks and the laundry before now.”  So I ask him very politely when he thought I was going to have the time to do that?  He tells me that he thought I’d get up a half hour early and do that before I left to go to work.  I know I had to give him a total look of disbelief on that one.  First of all, I’m NOT a morning person.  I only get up early during the week because I HAVE to.  So it’s very, very unlikely that you’re ever going to get me up half an hour earlier to do anything.  Whatever it is will either have to be done the night before or wait until later on.  And maybe I could have done it the night before if I wasn’t studying for a TEST!  Then because I did study a bit longer and didn’t get to sleep until 3 a.m., you really think I’m going to get up half an hour earlier for that?  I’m sorry, but I just didn’t see why it was such a big deal that I needed to interrupt my study time or my sleep to take care of it.  No one’s life was in jeopardy because of that not getting done.  In fact it was so ridiculous to me that he even bitched at me about not getting it done that I didn’t even discuss it anymore.

Then there have been the instances of him complaining about me having to study.  Well, usually it is him once again complaining about me being on the computer.  I have to do 15 hours of language work on the computer.  There’s no way around it.  I can either do it at home, or I can spend extra time at the school using their computers to do it.  Then I also rewrite my notes and I do that on the computer because frankly, my handwriting sucks.  Most of the blog reading, posting or commenting that I do these days is done at work.  I know that’s what he thinks I spend all my time doing when I’m at home on the computer.

It’s getting to the point where I feel I have to account for every single minute of my time, every single dollar that I spend and every mile that I put on the vehicles.  He has complained about all three recently, to the point where I feel he’s accusing me of something.  He’s always asking why it takes X amount of time to get this done or that done, or why I haven’t messaged him or called him.  If he tells me he’s going to message me and he forgets to and I don’t message him, then he seems to think I’m occupied with something I shouldn’t be.  The reality is that I do tend to lose track of time and if I’m studying and he hasn’t messaged me then it may be very late by the time I realize he didn’t message me and I try to message him.  I wonder if he doesn’t do that sort of crap to ‘test’ me or something.  That I don’t need right now.  Then the other day he was commenting about the mileage on the vehicle and seemed very puzzled how I could have put that much mileage on a vehicle going back and forth to work and school.  Excuse me?  I have no clue, but I know I sure as hell don’t have the time to go driving around all over the place.  I feel like I need to fill out a mileage log or something just to prove to him that I’m not doing whatever it is he thinks I’m doing, which I’m not sure what that is.

Then today he gives me grief about money and wanting to know where this $10 or $20 went?  I had $160 cash, deposited $100 into the bank and kept $60 out.  I had the ordeal with the Demon and I spent about $20 putting gas in it.  I drove the motorcycle one day and I had to put gas in it.  That was about $8.  I’ve also driven the truck and I’m pretty damn sure I’ve had to put some gas in it as well.  So that would be at least another $10.  Then I had Taco Bell one day and a coffee at Starbucks and that was about $7.  That’s a total of about $45 accounted for.  The other $15 I’m not totally sure but I think we spent it one night either on Chinese food or Quizno’s.  Last Sunday I played poker and we spent some money on beer.  I think he had $100 for the week, but I never asked him where all that went.  He’s trying to make me feel I squandered the money and I know damn well I didn’t.  I brought my lunch most every day except the one day I ate at Taco Bell and the other day when a co-worker bought me lunch. 

So now I’m up to needing to keep a mileage log, an hourly activity log and write down everything I spend money on and keep receipts.  Sheesh.  I don’t have time to do a bunch of extra record keeping. :whatever:

Now we come to today.  He told me yesterday that we were having company on Friday.  That’s all well and good, but I don’t have time to prepare for company.  I’ll be damned if he didn’t mention 2 or 3 times yesterday about how he was going to have to clean the house because he was sure it was a mess and that I hadn’t been doing anything.  In other words, I think he was hoping I’d take extra time (because we all know I have a bunch of extra time) and get the house spic and span by Friday.  It wasn’t happening.  Not with 3 tests and trying to catch up from last week.  So then he’s telling me how he’s going to have to come home tonight and clean.  Why decide to have company on Friday if this is going to be a problem?  It just pissed me off because I felt like he expected that I could find some time to clean the house and the fact that I hadn’t, it was because I was doing nothing except farting off on the computer.  Then he started in on complaining about how much or how long I have to study.  That one I knew was going to be a problem from the beginning.  And I had just told a friend yesterday that hubby was being somewhat understanding of me having so little time and needing to do some studying.  So much for that.

But wait, there’s more…  I also did our taxes today at lunch, because that was another thing he was really wanting me to get done as soon as possible.  We’re getting a refund of about $600.  We almost ended up having to pay, though.  I was able to take a credit for contributing to a 401K plan and I also was able to take some sort of deduction because of school.  Without those two things, we would have had to pay about $105.  Not a big deal, but when you’re figuring on getting something back, it really sucks to see that you owe.  I’ve been doing our taxes for years.  I’ve never paid anyone to do them.  I do them online at H&R Block or something like that.  We don’t have enough deductions to itemize everything anyhow.  Still, I was pretty excited that we went from owing $105 to getting a refund of about $600.  Instead, he bitches about that and tries to tell me I must not be doing them right because all his friends are getting much bigger refunds.  Well, his best friend has a kid, so he’s getting like $1500 back.  We don’t have kids, so we don’t get the huge refunds that people with kids sometimes do.  Then he tells me that just about everyone at his work, even the ones without kids are getting a bigger refund that that, and if I had just gone ahead and paid someone to do our taxes that he’s sure we’d be getting a larger refund, because everyone he knew paid someone to do their taxes.

Fine.  If he thinks he can do better or that someone we have to pay can do better, then he can take care of it.  I will dump all the W-2s and other documents in his lap and he can go directly to whoever it is that all his friends paid and are supposedly getting large refunds because of.  I took my lunch hour to do the taxes because I know he was wanting to get the refund as quickly as possible.  I was glad that we were even getting a refund.  I don’t have the money right now to pay anyone to do my taxes, but if he does, then more power to him.  I don’t give a shit.  As long as they get filed and we don’t get penalized, I don’t care.

It’s no wonder I have a migraine after all this.  He better not complain about a damn thing when I get home.  That’s all I have to say.  I’m tired, my head hurts, and I’m fucking grumpy.  I plan to get home, take my shower, put something in my stomach, probably down a couple of beers or Jager bombs and go right the fuck to sleep.

End of rant.  :rant: